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Showing posts from January, 2022

CONNECTED

There is a transparent line, like an umbilical cord that goes from me, my being, my soul towards the world outside and it feels, and perceives it, and we become one. I am connected. I am present now, to this time and space, into this time, into this space. I am time, I am space. I feel it, is it still, like the water of a lake, still, like the full moon in the sky, sometimes, like the air after the snow; in this stillness, and under the surface of everything there is the beauty of life, the emotions, nature, persons and places and my story, who I was and who I am now and who I have been in between, including all the uphill roads and the sprints downhill and the cold air in my face. It all makes all sense now because I am exactly where I want to be and where I allow myself to be and it has always been this way. Dani Tringale Image - "God is in the Air" 

AWARENESS

It is said that regular meditation gives us the opportunity to became aware of our thinking. This is always a good starting point. Without awareness of our thinking we cannot really dig deeper and get to know who we really are.   Once awareness of our thinking has became an habit, a thing we really need to develop, something that needs to became our second skin since our spiritual development depends on it, is analysing our actions, or to be more precise, the underlying reasons [or motives] of our actions. An action can be passive or active, so for 'taking an action' I intend everything, including not taking an action, refraining from saying something, even thinking about something is taking an action (since our thinking reflects in our reality).  Everything we do (or omit to do) is an action. Every action has an effect on our reality, on ourselves and others. Which are the effects of our actions? TO OURSELVES: Our actions can do only two things: A. move us towards actin...

A LIFE OF AVOIDANCE IS JUST A SURVIVAL MECHANISM

We all postpone, postponing is is a way of avoiding something. We avoid things we do not like and we do things we like, we avoid pain and search pleasure.  To understand which pain we are avoiding we have, as usual, to analyse our motives: Which pain are we trying to avoid?  Obviously if we are avoiding going to the gym, for example, we might be avoiding the physical pain of exercising.  But sometimes in analysing our motives, we have to look at the underling feelings of "what do do not like" since sometimes it is not the activity itself we are postponing / avoiding but it is the feelings it creates. We are postponing feelings, certain feelings, those which cause pain. For example, if we are postponing to write a post on our blog (nothing personal here...LOL) it could be that we are avoid some fears, for example fears of feeling rejected or inadequate or not being loved or liked.  We may find ourselves trying to avoid facing an addiction not to feel some feelings too...

IMMORTALITY AND A STARFISH

If you believe in God and in the writings in the Bible, it is written that before Adam and Eve, we were immortal (may be the Bible was speaking of the soul). If you do not believe in God, you may want to believe that there is a part of us, which is common to all Human Beings, our soul, which is said to be Immortal. It is a nice thought to have, even if you doubt about it, so hold to it :) The Christian tradition says that we were immortal because we were pure, the Jewish tradition says that we were immortal because evil was kept separated from us.  In any case, the Bible says it was Adam and Eve fault if we became mortal ;) so if there is someone to blame is them ;) - there is always a guilty one in the Christian tradition! :(( -  Their disobedience to God was the cause of us becoming mortal. Citing the Bible in the Genesis 6:3 (CSB): "And the Lord said: 'My Spirit will not remain with mankind forever, because they are corrupt. Their days will be 120 years'." So if th...

ADMITTING YOU’RE BLESSED

The world we perceive is a reflection of what we feel about ourselves. You’ve heard me right, I did say a reflection of what we feel we are, I did not say a reflection of who we are.  When we feel insecure or we feel we are not good enough, we see a world that is defective, decadent, not good enough. So in the attempt to have a reality we like we try constantly to change the world, our house is not good enough, our friends are not good enough, our partner is not good enough, our job is not good enough. After thousands of attempts, anger, resentments, delusion, tears, sometimes suicide attempts, some of us come to the conclusion we cannot change anything apart from our inner world. For some people is difficult to accept that an inner transformation is all they need to change the world and their life is exactly where it can be, there is no other space, it will change as much as we allow ourselves to feel. Once this acceptance is done we are blessed! We can start a change that is real...

WILL POWER

Self will, we praise it. We encourage it. We recognise it as a quality. We seek it and, if we do not have it, we feel ‘less than’… Self will, the devil of human nature, the joy depriver, the egoism who takes what does not belong, the ‘one’ to whom everything has to be given: other people feelings and our humanity, and theirs.  Self will, the liar, telling us that we can do it on our own force, without help, because we are strong, because we are…God There is not strength in self will, but only a stubbornness that will dissolve, like sugar in the water, like love into hate, like big into small, one step at the time, toward the abyss and into nothingness. To resuscitate into humbleness. And after that, when of us, of our ‘self’ nothing will remain, we will blossom from the humbleness of the grandiosity of the grace of God and we will be reborn, as human beings for the first time.

FEEL YOUR FEELINGS TO UNDERSTAND YOUR NEEDS

Which is the connection between feelings and needs? Why it is so important to allow ourselves to feel our true feelings? It is anger a true feeling or just a cover up feeling? We've have learned that expressing anger is 'bad', it is 'rude', it is inappropriate. Lots of us have learned to repress their anger, to let it go inside of us, becoming a series of self-defeating behaviours and self-hate (a much more subtle way of expressing our anger). To feel and recognise our anger helps us to understand our feelings and our needs. Having learned not to express our anger, we are unable to make any decision at all, because the inability to feel our anger removes from us the ability to feel and understand our needs. We are 'needless', empty shells, basically we are only 'anger' but we cannot see it, having built a 'facade' that is very similar to 'being human' but disconnected to our true feelings. Therefore every time we feel anger, we have t...

IS LETTING GO A GOOD TECHNIQUE TO HAVE A CLEAR SOUL?

It is in our common language to use the saying: “Let it go”. With love, we generally suggest this technique to family members and to friends who had a bad experience, or are feeling resentment, or are holding a grunge to someone, towards something, or towards a place. This is a marvellous technique and we all use it, but sometimes we misinterpret what letting go means and, instead of actually “letting go” we keep everything in.  Thus, we believe we are doing a great job to “let it go” but  in reality we are compounding those feelings.  They get pressed down, inside of us in such a way that we even became unaware of their existence in us.  They became like a rock we carry around, like a ball and chain we drag, day in day out.  By doing so, little by little, we are darkening our soul and we became unable to feel and express innocent, instinctive joy, which is one of the juices of life. We are unable to experience bliss [we start surviving in life instead of living...

Mme BOVARY AND HER STRUGGLE WITH SELF-ACCEPTANCE

The clash between reality and idealisation and why humbleness works. We all know how painful it is sometimes to see what is real and abandoning any idealisation.   This painful process of growth into ‘adultness’ is part of our humble acceptance of the fragile condition intrinsic to being ‘human beings’ and, as such, fallible, mediocre and, in one word and overall, affected of the state of believing to be different from what we are, governed by unawareness and the ability of blaming others of the same defects and drawbacks we cannot (which means ‘we do not want to’) recognise in ourselves.  Flaubert Madame Bovary’s is the example of the failed norm of human life, exposed in Emma (Bovary) in the failed idealisation of love as an absolute ideal and in the lack of acceptance of realty (including oneself and one’s vulnerable humanity). Since realty is always disappointing with respect to an absolute ideal, Emma hates it, and, when reality materialises from a state of pure pote...

WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I STOP TO TRY TO CONTROL WHAT I CANNOT CONTROL

We, Human Beings love to feel we have control over our life, this comes from a state of pure fear connected with our physical vulnerability for example.  We have this massive illusion that we can control, with our actions and behaviours, the outside world and our life.  I do not believe in this simplistic way of looking at reality, it does not work.  Of course we can try to control the outside world, people, places and things and sometimes we succeed or we have the impression of succeeding, until something else happens that shows us our failure of this "mission impossible".  Generally our subconscious mind, past emotional rubbish gets in the way: as for the universal law that wants our soul to be clear we attract the very thing we are trying to avoid by trying to control. We are a magnet for all our fears, because our fears hide emotions we need to feel.  When I let go control and I allow myself to act instinctively I am free. My only obligation (if you want to ...

THE NEGATIVE POWER OF THE VERB 'SHOULD'

I studied Law since I have always loved the meaning of words, they are fundamental: the words we use are the building blocks of our life, are the measure of our success, are the pathways to reaching our full potential. Let's be aware, like eagles, watching every thought and every word we say (aloud or in our head or whispered). Only with this rigorous scrutiny we can analyse our behaviour, 'become awake' and change, moving towards joy and fulfilment and bliss.  Sometimes when we look back or we look at our behaviours or others' , we tend to use the word 'should': 'I should have never...', 'I should have said...' 'He should have known...' etc, etc... I have banned the use of the word ‘should’ from my vocabulary. When we say 'should' in respect of ourselves or others, we are regretting, we are not forgiving, we are judging, we are negating our reality.  There is no judgement in love. In love there is only acceptance of reality, this...

THE POWER OF GRATITUDE & OF 'BEING InLOVE'*

Experience all your emotions but do not live in your emotions - let them flow - you are a vehicle for your emotions. Love & Gratitude are the forces bringing us forward - express them - feel them strongly and you’ll fly high.  *For 'BEING InLove' I mean not being in fear. To be 'not in fear' we need to feel all our feelings, even those 'difficult emotions' we rather not feel (get the free eBook: 'Feel to be Free' here soon).

TODAY I HAVE EXPERIENCED JOY

Dani Tringale Image - "White Immensity" Today I have experienced joy, it was in the glance I had with another human being while waiting for the cross light to be green for the pedestrians, like me. We smiled to one another and we knew we were on the same level, we were the same, two of the many souls looking for meaning and finding it within and outside at the same time. Today I’ve experience joy, when I went back home and the lights were dimmed and the moon was over me, big and majestic and a little bit dumb looking outside my window into our fragile world above the figs tree I planted with my love; apart from the fig trees my love and I also planted acceptance and empathy and courage to stay and connect even if one day one of us will deadly miss the other - we did this not always in a linear way - like when you plant seeds - but as best as we could, because we both believe love always prevails.  Today I experienced joy to be alive and stand free as a woman in this planet wh...

HOW TO BECOME MORE SPIRITUAL

 As Human Beings we all search for meaning, and we all search for purpose. Becoming more spiritual means to find purpose and meaning. It means to get connected with a part of us that some of us identify with our souls, others with our conscience; to a part of us we all recognise as bigger than us.  Our consciousness equals to our sense of justice which is inherent to every Human Being regardless of their age. Our consciousness tells us that we are spiritual being, that there is a part of us which is unique to humans and it never fails.  In our search for purpose and meaning we need connection with ourselves. We need to feel our feelings to understand what is important for us, what gives us joy and pleasure, for example. In our search fur purpose and meaning we also need to feel connected to others.  Therefore to establish a true connection we need to apply one of the most important spiritual principles, which is honesty. We cannot connect with ourselves, our feelings...

THE MOST DEBILITATING "SUCCESS BLOCKING" MENTAL STATE IS FEAR OF FAILURE

The most debilitating ‘success blocking’ mental state is the fear of failure. I love playing tennis, it is my sport, I love the sound of the racket hitting the ball, the feel of the ball on the racket, the precision needed to place the ball where I want, the concentration needed to live in the moment, the fast motion of the legs, the slow motion of the toss of the ball when I serve. I love being in the zone, my higher self having fun; the rest, the world, people, places and things are in existent. There, on the court  it is only me, a ball, a net and a point to be made. One point at the time.  I love tennis, because it is me playing against myself, against my limits, against my fears, it is me who cries yes to life, who experiences the joy of success.  I was 14 when my father died, he died of a heart attack while I was at a tennis camp learning to become unbeatable. From that moment tennis became my enemy, it became my grief, my loss, it became my fear, my failure. It bec...

SELF JUSTIFICATION = PRIDE = NO SPIRITUAL GROWTH

Every time we justify our behaviour we are acting out of Pride. Pride is a debilitating self defeating ego driven behaviour stopping us from growing spiritually (when we place ourselves above others by justifying our behaviours for example, or when we carry on believing, sometimes for years with disastrous results - see the compulsive obsessive behaviour of an addict for example whom despite the evidence of the contrary he still thinks he can control - or even stop - his drinking, or gambling or drug using -  that we can overcome a problem or achieve something with the only force or our self will) and that stops us from achieving what we most desire in life (regardless of what this is).  Pride will stop us from trying again when we do not get what we want at the first try, or will stop us from admitting defeat, pride will prevent us to see our true nature, will stop us to see our part in a controversy, or from searching inside ourselves to find the truth of our feelings or of ...

HOW TO BUILD YOUR SELF-ESTEEM? HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY?

The million dollar questions! The questions everyone has have a simple answer.  And (even better)...it has the answer every human difficulties can be tackled with and overcome. Sometimes it is easier to answer a question by saying what the contrary to the question is.  So what does grind our self esteem, what does destroy our self esteem?   What is low self esteem?  A person with low self esteem acts like a dog trying to bite its tail.  Why? Because what activates low self esteem is fear.   And when we act from fear we go round and round in a circle and the more we act in fear the lower our self esteem becomes. Why? Well, because when we act out of fear we act dishonestly. And when we act dishonestly we lose our integrity.  Have you ever met a dishonest person who is successful? I haven’t.  The basis to love yourself unconditionally is being rigorously honest.   A lot of people here will argue over this, I bet, because there is a lot of misun...

WHY SOME OF US FIND DIFFICULT TO MEDITATE?

Some people believe meditation is a very difficult practice to master.  They sit down with the best intention to meditate and as soon as a few thoughts come up in their conscious mind they start becoming nervous and start thinking that they cannot meditate, they are not able to stop the thinking and the harder they try the worse it gets. They convince themselves they never will be able to do it and it is just a big waste of time sitting down while they could do sort out their busy life.  They think they cannot control they thoughts because someone, sometimes, has told them that ‘being in meditation’ means being in absence of thoughts. Nothing more false (at the beginning and for a while). We want to became the master of our minds.  For every beginner, when they became more aware of the constant output of the mind (thoughts) there will be thousands and thousands of thoughts invading the conscious level. The fact is, the brain function is to create thoughts. Is is true that...

HOW TO OVERCOME EMOTIONAL PAIN

When I was growing up, for various reasons, including my dad death when I was 14, emotional pain like sadness and grief, was very present in my life. It was such an unbearable pain that automatically I was trying to avoid feeling it by running away from it.   So the pain, the grief and the sadness, became compressed inside me and grow bigger and bigger. My understanding is that when there is too much pain we cover it up with anger because we feel less vulnerable in feeling angry than in pain.   So I used anger as an addiction to avoid feeling the pain. The anger then transformed itself in self-defeating behaviours and the emotional pain was then growing bigger. But when I became aware of the trick I was using I decided to allow myself / to have the courage to feel the pain / the grief that was sitting below the anger.   To do so I had to cry but be careful the tears need to be of grief and sadness and not of self-pity, if I cry out of self pity I do not clean my soul from...