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Showing posts from June 2, 2021

WHAT IS THE ROOT CAUSE OF PEOPLE PLEASING?

Why was I a 'people pleaser' and what I was trying to avoid? How did I stop being a people pleaser? When I was young I was a people pleaser, it was the most dishonest act I could perform and it was so painful. Being a 'people pleaser' meant, firstly, being dishonest with myself: I could not say no (I could not find the courage to say no) and I was covering up my total terror of others’ opinion of me, or of their presumed rejection or dislike of me, with a 'fake personality' of being a kind, loving and caring person.  You cannot be loving and caring if you do not love yourself first. You can only fake it!  So, obviously, by being firstly dishonest with myself (in regards of the real motives of my dishonesty) I could not possibly being honest with others. Secondly by being dishonest I was actually depriving people to feel their feelings and I was manipulating their feelings towards me. I was depriving people, and especially people close to me, of their freedom to ...