We, Human Beings love to feel we have control over our life, this comes from a state of pure fear connected with our physical vulnerability for example.
We have this massive illusion that we can control, with our actions and behaviours, the outside world and our life.
I do not believe in this simplistic way of looking at reality, it does not work.
Of course we can try to control the outside world, people, places and things and sometimes we succeed or we have the impression of succeeding, until something else happens that shows us our failure of this "mission impossible".
Generally our subconscious mind, past emotional rubbish gets in the way: as for the universal law that wants our soul to be clear we attract the very thing we are trying to avoid by trying to control. We are a magnet for all our fears, because our fears hide emotions we need to feel.
When I let go control and I allow myself to act instinctively I am free. My only obligation (if you want to call it obligation) is to feel all the feelings connected with the situation that is presenting in front of me.
Once I have done this (most of times the situation taking me to feel those feelings will present itself to me several time in, apparently several shapes and forms) my soul becomes clearer and clearer, my life becomes a blessing since now I attract from a place of love and not fear. I am reborn, I am free. I will have spiritual / mystical experiences.
This is the point I am now: In my life I do only things I want to do, I only do what I feel doing: to get to this stage took time. I live in freedom now (which is freedom from fear, when you have faced your fears - the feelings under the fear - you are free).
The inner work is the spring to freedom from control and being controlled, may you start it now!