IT IS TIME TO GET TO SLEEP BUT I AM AWAKE

It is time to get to sleep but I am awake. I am awake and I am feeling about a loss; a long lasting loss. I tried to avoid feeling it for a thousand years; with all my heart, with all my self-will, with all I had, and more.

Tonight, I am feeling about a long lasting loss. This is the time to go to sleep, you know, but I am awake and I am letting go of a loss. It is painful to let go, it feels like a burn that keeps on burning until a sac of water is created to cool it down.

Once it stops burning, you'll feel the emptiness for the loss not being present, you'll feel the emptiness created from the lack of the loss; you'll feel the emptiness instead of the loss and this will be as painful as feeling the loss.

This will be as painful as knowing that what you always had was the loss and not the presence; it was not real, the presence, because when you thought the presence was present, it was just an illusion of your mind; a denial of the truth. a desire of not wanting to feel the lack of presence.

It is time to go to sleep but I am still awake, waiting for the feeling of loss to leave me and let me sleep.

And then, tomorrow morning, I will be whole. I will be whole, my God, if you give me the courage to let go of a long lasting loss that kept me company for a thousand years.

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