There was a time when I had found the love of my life. The Love is still there, all the rest is gone. So, now, there is this lonely Love, sitting alone and hoping to be able to give, to caress, to give tenderness and attention and love. What else a little lonely Love, as big as the universe, can do?
It is a big love this lonely little love, it is as big as the universe but its breathing is shallow because it tries not to feel the loss of the "love giving crap" that it is so much longing for.
It is also longing for a person, a face, their skin and their happiness, it is longing to make them happy and more happy and more happy. It is a stupid sad little Love that has strange ideas and believes in miracles. It is a little stupid Love that is not wanted anymore so it sits alone and sometimes when the pain is too much it prays God to feel anger, or hate, or neutrality, to feel something different from Love. It prays, but God (who IS love), cannot fulfil its prayers, because you cannot pray Love to feel hate, the rules are strict; and you cannot even pray Love to feel anger, this is impossible; as much as to feel neutrality, for God's sake.
So this little Love that is as big as a the universe, is still loving. It will be loving forever because there is only one thing Love can do, which is to love. So Love sits and prays and eats and cries and hope and cries again for the past to be different, wishing it did not see what was real, hoping it could still be living happily in the matrix, and hating what has opened its eyes: the anger, the distrust, the unavailability, the judgments, the conditional love, the control, just hating what has opened its eyes and hoping to close them again, once more and forever and ever and then be only Love.
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