WHICH IS THE ROOT OF PERFECTIONISM?

Many of us takes pride to be perfectionists. We strive to be perfect and when we do not achieve perfection, we just try harder, and harder and harder...

Perfection can never be achieved from an emotional human being, it is a mirage, it is an illusion like a water lake in the desert. A perfectionist will find it very difficult to achieve what h/she believes is perfection since he will be never happy with his/her perfection and he will be constantly seeking for a better 'perfect perfection' which is a contradiction in terms.

When we strive to be perfect we are trying to cover up our humanity, our imperfections, our flaws of character, we are trying to control our reality and the perception of ourselves to ourselves and others.

We are dishonest.

We are giving out a false image, we are trying to get a better image of ourselves by mirroring ourselves in the image that others have of us and to do so we seek to be perfect, we do not admit any flaws and we present this 'shiny life' to the world, a 'shiny life' which includes 'our shiny and wonderful self'.

Seeking admiration and praise from ourselves and others by trying to be perfect is a very sad, soul consuming activity. A never ending life sentence that is based on cover up our shame.

The more shame we feel the more perfect we try to be. The less we achieve perfection (and we do since perfection is not a human condition and it will never be) the more shame we feel.

In this process of degradation we totally disconnect from humility, we became paralysed by fear, we start feeling guilty for not being honest with ourselves and others.

In one word our spiritual life deteriorates, we deteriorate as human beings and we implode, some of us end having a brake down, some of us kill themselves, some of us takes all the anger and frustration to others and project their deteriorate, imperfect self to others to feel better.

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