When I did not know how to be free, or what freedom meant and how to obtain it (meaning following my wishes and desires, valuing my time, being able to say no when I felt so, speaking my truth) I was placing fake love above freedom.
How is it? And what is the difference between true love and fake love? Is there something like fake love and how do we identify it within ourselves?
Fake Love:
We exercise 'fake love' every time we think we ought to so something for someone else, or we ought to say something, or we ought to behave in a certain way, because we feel we own this 'something' to someone or because we are terrorised of asserting our needs (some people have behaved this was for so long they do not even recognise their needs anymore).
Every time we act in those ways we are exercising 'fake love'.
What does fake love do to the person 'doing the fake love' and to others?
TO THE PERSON DOING 'FAKE LOVE': it diminishes that person, his/her self-esteem, it tells them you have value only when you give something, when you make someone feel better... The person is being dishonest and they know it, they feel guilty and bad about themselves but then because they are doing something 'nice' they adjust this inner feeling of guilt by saying to themselves: "I am 'nice' person, a 'generous' person" and they suddenly feel better and something they can even feel better than everyone else because they are sacrificing themselves for the benefit of others!
TO TE ONES RECEIVING FAKE LOVE: Every time we exercise 'fake love' we are manipulating others, we are removing them with the opportunity to feel their feelings (so we are removing from the them the opportunity to grow), we are depriving them of the truth, we are stealing from them, we do lots of harm.
True Love:
We exercise true love every time we respect ourselves, our needs, our belief systems, our values, every time we act with integrity and respect towards ourselves, in this way we are humble to accept that by acting honestly we are actually giving ourselves and others the bigger gifts we can every receive in life: freedom.
We give ourselves freedom to be ourselves and others the freedom to feel their feelings and take actions on how they think fit.
To conclude: True Love prevails over Freedom because Freedom cannot exist without True Love and when we experience true love we sometimes decide to 'give up' our freedom because love always prevails.
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